Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
