ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im holly from the hills drunk
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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