Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I see more hoeing in ur future
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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