I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
