she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize