I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize