you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize