while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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