matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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