i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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