i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
