i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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