It was confusing and full of hummus
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
