after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
