no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
