remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
