wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
