Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
