Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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