I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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