But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
