when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
