You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
