He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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