he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
