If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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