I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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