we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
