this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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