Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
try to milk me bitch
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