Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
