Need sex. Gaining weight.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
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we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
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I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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