Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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