what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
