so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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