clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
