you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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