Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
