You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
