Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize