Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He kissed a someone with a penis
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
