hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
