hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
