i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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