we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
