CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
