So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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