I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize