i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
