Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
