Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
