I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
