I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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