haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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