I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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