My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
