Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
