I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
