is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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