I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
