She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
