Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
