porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We don't watch enough power rangers
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
