sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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