If i come over, it means nothing
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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