i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
