OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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